Before Dawn, when the veil is thin...

2009-04-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

An Interesting Dream

It started with my being in a Chinese restaurant. When the food came, there on my plate was a live fish! Beautiful interference gold/pink in color, and looking at me with such sad eyes. I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a large glass tankard full of fresh water and placed the fish in it. Deciding that would not be enough I wrote a note which said:
"Hello, my name is Bertram. I am an ancient breed of Chinese Carp. Please don't kill me! I could live to be over 300 years old. Try the pike instead." I think that Bertram may have telepathically dictated the note to me, and having thwarted death, had a bit of a sense of humor.

Then the dream switched (as dreams will do) to a residence with sliding glass doors.
I was on the inside looking out at a small girl with blond pigtails, and several half grown pug puppies, surrounded by menacing rattle snakes.
My dilemma was getting the girl and puppies through the glass sliding doors without letting the snakes in as well.
I then woke up, which means I don't know what happened to them.

Holly Moon, day 29

2006-07-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

060724

I had the most delightful of dreams the other night, where I sat in a “cosmic café” with my late cousin Charlie. While we sipped on our espressos (the best I’ve ever had in this or any life, and I could still taste it when I woke up!) we had a nice time catching up and hanging out. He looked great; young, happy, so different from the last time I saw him.
I had such a distinct feeling of joy, it was so good to see him! There we were, and I asked him how it was on his side of things. He smiled and said “It’s multidimensional!”
I love these kinds of dreams. They seem to affirm continuation and hope. They hint at just how huge the big picture is and how there are so many dimensions, worlds, places, people, even universes. It’s multidimensional, and those of us here on this side of things can learn so much just by having open minds and hearts. I look forward to more visits to the cosmic cafe'!

Saturday, 15 April 2006

2006-04-15T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm working hard on not seeming so "spiritual".
I'd rather be real.
It's hard to be real; it's a moment by moment descision to be forthright, honest, authentic, and Damn! I get tired, really exhausted sometimes with the effort.
It would be so easy to pretend; to say all the woo woo stuff, the right words, mannerisms, to LOOK so "spiritual", so, "above it all". Leaves a gritty taste in my mouth. Phooey!
Truth is an anointing oil, sweet honey poured over our lives, with just a touch of vinegar to keep us self searching, taking inventory, keeping us honest. Hmmm, a cosmic vinagrette!
Pass the mustard!

Yew Moon, Day 4

2005-11-04T22:13:00.000-08:00

I think my spiritual teacher was whispering in my ear last night:

"You were born here on this weary beleaguered planet to be a loving shining light in the midst of so much darkness. You have been gifted with a heart that seeks spiritual things, you have been touched by God living right there inside you. You are an ambassador of life light and joy. YOU are a precious gift to this planet to redeem it and heal it and by your continued presence to be a force for CHANGE."

Letter to a friend

2005-10-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

Hello dear friend,

I appreciate your sending me that “silver refining” story. However, I believe it is in error with regards to the nature of God/Goddess/Source.
I do not believe in a God that chastises, tries, disciplines, “refines”, or punishes in any way. Remembering that Job was not tried by God but by the Adversary. This is an arbritrary concept conceived by a tribal mentality that needed to have a vindictive, judgemental “God” who would punish their enemies as they went forth to conquer neighboring tribes. Interesting how it’s still happening today with certain nefarious individuals claiming that “God told them” to go make war with Afghanistan and Iraq and spread imperialistic corporate tentacles everywhere. This concept is in the same genre as the one that says if you prosper you must be “good” and if you’re poor you must be “sinning”. And again, today we have that same concept in action as the poor of the world continue to be exploited with “some individuals” justifying it because they “can”. This is not the God who created the Universe, created and LOVES all sentient beings residing in it, with no prejudice and playing no favorites or having any so called “chosen people”. We are ALL chosen, loved, equal. Certain people would have us believing otherwise, believing LIES.
I believe that God gave us soverign FREE WILL. We make choices that have consequences for good or ill in our lives. Suffering, “bad luck”, pain, illness, poverty, war, hatred, prejudice, are all outcomes of the choices PEOPLE make. To ascribe these things to God is to abdicate personal responsibility, an immature attempt to “get off the hook”…too many people do this these days, especially fundamentalists (of all religions). Sometimes shit just does happen as a result of the “human condition” (which is NOT sin).
I believe we are all evolving beings and I have hope for the “salvation” of EVERYBODY. To evolve is to learn and grow and continue. Learning from our choices (like if you touch a hot stove, burnie burnie!) learning from the consequences of them. “Bad” things happen in the world because we’re all evolving even on a global level. The reason things are shitty right now is that people with the power are making shitty choices and it is affecting all of us, even innocent people having nothing personally to do with those choices. Even global warming is a result of shitty (oily) choices.
So when “bad” things happen to you, when things don’t go “your” way…it’s not God arbitrarly moving you around the chess board of life like some helpless pawn, you need to look at the choices you’re making.
Are they generous choices or selfish ones? Are they for the highest good or just for yourself? Are you choosing anger over understanding, grudges over forgiveness? Everything I am saying to you, I am of course saying to myself. What else can I do. You see I am responsible for my choices as well.

Much love,

Hawthorn Moon, Day 23

2005-05-31T07:15:00.000-07:00

There can be no "peace" without starting at the beginning, that is with ourselves.... Personal peace and serenity comes from knowing how to hold'em fold'em and when to walk away. Can't hold'em too tight and have real peace, easy does it. Can't fold'em too soon just because some yahooo says so, Can't just walk away when it's something worth fighting for....ahh, but how do we "fight" for peace? Be steadfast, be peaceful inside, seek to harm none, but STAND ROCK SOLID IMMOVABLE, yet non-violently, when the bastards try to take you down. Find peace in your heart so the "bastards" are shown to be what they really are: fellow (maybe lost and somewhat deluded) bretheren, maybe scared, caught up, enslaved and enthrawled to the current pseudo culture, or worse, some religion of authority, greedy because they're frightened of scarcity, selfish because the child in them never got what they needed, so.... perspective, conviction, the daily challenge of working on one's self(one's own program)..these bring PEACE not just to ourselves but as powerful ripples transcending and transforming our world. Peace out! micki

Alder Moon, Day 26

2005-04-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

Nicolai Tesla had a dream.
His dream was to provide FREE electricity for the whole world utilizing his theories and principles...He woulda done it except for the conivings of an american inventor. He was in direct competition with this guy (can you believe it? I can't recall that guy's name right off but he invented the light bulb, and in later life wanted to invent a telephone to speak to the dead, ok ok, got it: Thomas Alva Edison), and American greed in the time of the Robber Barons won. These were the republican "good old days" before the income tax and when the few had far far too much money on their hands while people in this country (United States of America) starved and DIED of that starvation while the few and elite danced. Same old same old, only the names have changed.
Spiritual perspective:
We live in an ABUNDANT UNIVERSE
where EVERYTHING we need to live fully happily productively and healthfully is available...for EVERY ONE OF US.
Throw a Spanner in the works.......and all HELL comes to land right here on this lovely precious blue jewel.
We're still reeling from the blows, fighting our human nature, our human tendencies toward addiction, scarcity consciousness, power hunger, animal drives....mix it all together and whaddaya get?....LAS VEGAS!
There's this movie out called "sin city" which I have no intention of subjecting my mind to...but it's the story right out.

Greed is unnecessary(pardon my spelling..do you know how hard it is to remember how to spell "necessary"?) in a world where God/Goddess/Source has given us EVERYTHING!

Addiction is unnecessary when you're raised in a loving and hopefully minimally dysfunctional family where they teach you that Love is really all you need.
Here I go again imagining things:
A world where enough really IS enough
We don't have to be greedy or in "power" or have too much of a good thing.
A world where it would be UNTHINKABLE to let ANYONE go hungry or lonely or without a home or without a purpose.
A world bathed in Light and Life and Love....
It's coming and it's inevitable,

Too bad for the old paradigm!

Rowan Moon, Day 11

2005-01-21T15:48:00.000-08:00

Hope is a weed relentlessly growing out of the cracks of cemented stagnant thinking, and turning whole slabs of rigidity right over on themselves...
Hope is one of the great defiances, a rebellion against despair that will never give in or up or out, because its source is without limit and eternal.
Hope is coming and no one can stop her.

Winter Solstice

2004-12-21T18:13:00.000-08:00

The longest night of the year. And now it begins, the lengthening of days, return of light, oh how I need the Light!
The previous weeks have been more lessons, more learning how very far I have to go. Here I think I am, walking along so self possessed, thinking I'm so "spiritual". Balderdash! I can wallow in the mud with the worst and best of us. I am as unclean and needing to be healed as any leper. I am so glad that there is One who is higher, and yet right here in and with me, not fooled by my facade.
Sitting here on the ground naked is an interresting experience, and a somewhat "chilly" one. I feel very vulnerable and weak, very much in need of forgiveness, acceptence, and redemption from the Universe. I feel like a tree bereft of its leaves, naked branches, naked bark, naked body at the mercy of the elements, being rained on, snowed on, and then Phoebe comes shining benignly sending her light her warmth, her forgiveness and strength to help me wake up from my self imposed ignorant slumber. All I can be is greatful. All I can do is keep working on supplanting the ego and being of service, passing on the redemption given so freely to me.

Yew Moon, Day 26

2004-12-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

After a very difficult two days, I had a very interesting “excursion” of sorts. At first I thought, “It’s just a vivid dream due to all the upset,” but upon reflection I think it may have been more. Several times in my life I have had night experiences which were far too vivid to be just dreams, many of them turned out to be premonitions. I think this one might be.
I seem to have “transported” from my bedroom, and found myself flying through the sky, I was going so fast I really felt physically dizzy. I was being shown these scenes, first, I was in someone’s living room, the walls being of a blond wood, as one would see in a rustic cabin. Then I was outside the cabin and could see I was in a valley surrounded by high snowy mountains. I started “flying” again and could see the mountains clearly from a point maybe several hundred feet above them. They were vivid and very beautiful. I seemed to fly southwest down the canyon, and looking down, saw a concrete bridge spanning a river. The bridge had been destroyed. Flying further, I could look out to the west and saw mushroom clouds far off in the distance. I knew what they were but strangely did not feel alarmed, in fact, aside from the occasional dizziness, there was a profound sense of calm. I looked back over my shoulder in time to see a huge cloud of black smoke rush over the mountain and into the valley.
Then I was back in my bed, wide awake.
I don’t know what this was, or whether it was premonitional,
actually I hope not, given the content.
But it’s food for thought.

2004-11-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

Ivy Moon, Day 24

2004-11-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

So much upheaval in the last few days, weeks, months.
It's been a rough ride.
I am reminded of the story of a young man in a village who fell off his horse and broke his leg, and everyone said, "What rotten luck!"
Then the next day, the jack booted thugs (my take on them) came into town to draft the young men for war, but he wasn't eligible being disabled, and everyone said, "Good luck you broke your leg yesterday!"
This week has looked on the surface as a bit of very rotten luck for people who tread the different paths of peace and understanding, having had to capitulate to the forces of fear and ignorance, or so it seems. I love reading the Tao in times like these. Water is soft, seems to capitulate, seeks its own level, regroups drop by drop, and then bursts the dam.
Things have a way of changing direction when we least expect them to. Help often comes from sources we never realized; and what looks "bad" today may end up being a stroke of brilliance that sends the momentum right where it needs to go, like that teeny tiny straw to break a camel's back, no harm ever intended to camels of course.
It's a good time to take a step back, take a deep breath, and get centered. To be in the moment and connect with the Source. There is justice and balance in the Universe, and even the fractals of seeming chaos show forth the deep patterns in all things.
We're on a road from which there is no turning back, but who would want to?

Ivy Moon, Day19

2004-11-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

I went to my local power center today.
There is this beautiful grove of redwoods nearby and from time to time I feel the pull to go and walk there.
As I was walking I would stop to hear the silence, I could hear my heart beating and the blood rushing through my head, that's how quiet it was. What a nice change from the noise of daily living.
The same silence can be heard when meditating, or when you suddenly shut off the radio or tv and just bask in the hush, like taking media cotton out of your ears so you can hear what's real.
It reminds me how much I need the real.
As if to answer me, the scene before my eyes became fuzzy, like it was raining only the sun was shining through the trees. The Real, pushing in upon our perceptions. I so appreciate it.

2004-10-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ivy Moon, Day 2

2004-10-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Upon returning from our foray into the seeming normalcy of what we thought would have been our first vacation in the last 5 years, there arises the realization that lessons are to be learned at all times and in all places, and we can never go on vacation from our own spiritual evolution.
We had to come home a day early due to my better half's becoming ill. I was slightly disappointed, but moreso because it was something he needed, to get away and be able to breathe with a relaxed mind. This was not to be so. But I'm torn between also being disappointed for myself (I really needed a vacation too) and my concern for my beloved partner who had to curtail what was so needed. So what's the lesson?
Maybe I must "go back to the drawing board" back to my much neglected daily practice. I "neglected" it (actually I was running away) because it seemed to enhance clairvoyance and that could be scary at times.
But the benefits cannot be denied.
When I meditate, it's like getting a whole night's sleep, complete with the kind of good dreams you don't want to wake up from.
So I guess, the universe is telling me to GET OFF MY BUTT and do it in spite of my fears, and trust in the protection of the beloved watchers.
Ok, I get the hint.

2004-10-01T17:30:00.000-07:00

Little folk all around us!

Vine Moon, Day 16

2004-09-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

Where are the "little people" when you need them?
Actually they're all around us doing what they've been doing for as long as time has been time.
I have had encounters with them.
Not by sight but by a definite "vibe".
The tomatoes on our garden have had a most abundantly loving Deva to care for them, and this season, I think that that cucumber Deva joined in the fun.
Growing things are such an evidence of these mostly unknown beings, these nature beings who care for all things that live.
Sometimes they're called Midwayers, sometimes other more traditional names, but they toil on in spite of the real damage being done by people who have no respect for this beautiful planet that was gifted to us from God/Goddess/Source.
Lesson for the day: Pray, Meditate, BE in that space inside yourself that allows you to see, and to do less damage, to help heal, to be a light and a lifting positive force for Good; and the Devas will be encouraged by this.

2004-09-29T08:57:00.000-07:00

Autumn Full Moon, day 14

2004-09-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

Always we hope
someone else has the answer.
Some other place will be better,
some other time
it will all turn out.

This is it.
No one else has the answer.
No other place will be better,
and it has already turned out.

At the center of your being you have the answer;
you know who you are and you know what you want.

There is no need
to run outside
for better seeing.

Nor to peer from a window.

Rather abide at
the center of your being;
for the more you leave it
the less you learn.

Search your heart
and see
the way to do
is to be.

--Lao Tzu

World Spiritual Quotes

That sums it up...we're always looking for someone or something else to solve our problems or make us feel better. Since there is Someone living in each and every one of us, I think that God is the great exception to this rule since God is living in our hearts, at our center of being.
I have never been disappointed when I have prayed or turned to God within my heart.
He/She/It has never let me down, but maybe sometimes the answer I got was: No, Not Now, Soon...
and I persevere, but I have always always gotten answers to my prayers, and I am greatful.

Vine Moon, Day 12

2004-09-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a warm day, and it seems that the teaching for me today is about how people who may seem so different can have deep friendships, laughter, love, in spite of those differences. The differences are far outweighed by the similarities, by our need for comradarie, our need to know that somewhere, out there there are people just like ourselves, who though they may speak a different language, dress differently, appear on the outside differently, are seeking inspiration and conspiration (breathing together), wanting to take in the more positive lessons of life that are sometimes learned when you're sitting in a smokey pub, laughing, singing, comisserating.
Or talking on the phone and hearing about the "boring" details of another person's day, only it isn't boring at all, because life and the little things of life that can so easily be passed by are full of those small intriguing occurances that make up the spice and seasoning to the larger stuff and make for a delicious repast for the soul.

Misery may love company, but Joy is the life of the party.

Vine Moon, day 11

2004-09-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

I woke up to go on my daily walk, haven't been walking as much as I would like since the weather's been too hot; But when I arrived at the trail there were workers there spraying a hive of yellowjackets. Didn't think it would be a good idea to walk among angry hornets, so I went for a short drive instead and bought myself some breakfast. I am taking to heart the need for a more regular meditation practice. I want to be more in touch with the real world that surrounds the mundane world of created reality, the world that reminds me it's there when I feel it breathing in sky and trees and the birds. Connectedness brings stability and strength to endure the surface world of the pseudo culture. The more I am connected to the Real, the more I can find that place inside myself that enables me to release rancor and embrace the people around me in all their glorious imperfect humanity and the constant reminder that though we seem to be on separate journeys, it's all the same really, we're all in this together.