Winter Solstice

The longest night of the year. And now it begins, the lengthening of days, return of light, oh how I need the Light!
The previous weeks have been more lessons, more learning how very far I have to go. Here I think I am, walking along so self possessed, thinking I'm so "spiritual". Balderdash! I can wallow in the mud with the worst and best of us. I am as unclean and needing to be healed as any leper. I am so glad that there is One who is higher, and yet right here in and with me, not fooled by my facade.
Sitting here on the ground naked is an interresting experience, and a somewhat "chilly" one. I feel very vulnerable and weak, very much in need of forgiveness, acceptence, and redemption from the Universe. I feel like a tree bereft of its leaves, naked branches, naked bark, naked body at the mercy of the elements, being rained on, snowed on, and then Phoebe comes shining benignly sending her light her warmth, her forgiveness and strength to help me wake up from my self imposed ignorant slumber. All I can be is greatful. All I can do is keep working on supplanting the ego and being of service, passing on the redemption given so freely to me.

Yew Moon, Day 26

After a very difficult two days, I had a very interesting “excursion” of sorts. At first I thought, “It’s just a vivid dream due to all the upset,” but upon reflection I think it may have been more. Several times in my life I have had night experiences which were far too vivid to be just dreams, many of them turned out to be premonitions. I think this one might be.
I seem to have “transported” from my bedroom, and found myself flying through the sky, I was going so fast I really felt physically dizzy. I was being shown these scenes, first, I was in someone’s living room, the walls being of a blond wood, as one would see in a rustic cabin. Then I was outside the cabin and could see I was in a valley surrounded by high snowy mountains. I started “flying” again and could see the mountains clearly from a point maybe several hundred feet above them. They were vivid and very beautiful. I seemed to fly southwest down the canyon, and looking down, saw a concrete bridge spanning a river. The bridge had been destroyed. Flying further, I could look out to the west and saw mushroom clouds far off in the distance. I knew what they were but strangely did not feel alarmed, in fact, aside from the occasional dizziness, there was a profound sense of calm. I looked back over my shoulder in time to see a huge cloud of black smoke rush over the mountain and into the valley.
Then I was back in my bed, wide awake.
I don’t know what this was, or whether it was premonitional,
actually I hope not, given the content.
But it’s food for thought.